NaPoWriMo 2022 Day 11: How to Make a Philosopher's Stone in 52 Steps

Antic Alchemy

How to Make a Philosopher's Stone in 52 Steps

  1. Place 3 purple matches in a copper bowl and 2 sapphires in a tin box.
  2. Use chemistry to convert chemical fruits into liquid gold.
  3. Use a conjugal visitation with the blood of dragons to defend against attacks.
  4. Take a knife and remove the clothes from your reflection in the mirror.
  5. It takes a New Look at the Feather.
  6. Use your sword to cast Horse Protection spells.
  7. Put some reagents in the kettle, mix with hydra hair and magic powder.
  8. Hold the glass in the hand of the chosen hero and feed the unicorn wine.
  9. Use the magic tree to block the enemy’s path.
  10. Place an altar in the front yard with three brass coils under the tree. Place 3 chickens and 3 pigs on the ground and feed the pigs coconuts.
  11. This is the Landing of Selected Gods.
  12. Look at the salamander’s eye on the feather and dust it.
  13. Build an altar on the lake and call on the god of heaven.
  14. Use your horns to threaten the spirits.
  15. Go to a fair and light lanterns and shake them when you drink.
  16. Worship the God of Sexual Truth.
  17. Draw a five-pointed star on a rock, stumble upon it, meditate for 3 days, place your hand in a cage, and cut it.
  18. Summon Demons with Broken Sticks, Candles, and Prayers.
  19. Build the second altar on the same rock, tie it with chains, have sexual intercourse with it, and cut off its head.
  20. Cut off the dog’s tail and draw a symbol on its back.
  21. Rebuild the Holy Tree Destroyed by the Evil Witch.
  22. Mix golden eggs and water.
  23. Make a ditch in the ground, put pigeons in it, and start a fire.
  24. There is a stand or table with flowers under your feet, or maybe candles at night.
  25. Place a knife on the nail and grill the meat.
  26. Perform weddings in which both the bride and groom mutilate their genitals.
  27. Draw a five-pointed star on the ground.
  28. Pray to Loki for Power to Deceive.
  29. Cut penis, make necklaces, swap and swim.
  30. Expose the anus and leave it in the sun until it heals.
  31. Invite Norns to eat aged dog meat.
  32. Broomsticks, flails, etc.
  33. Put a snail in your eyes and walk like this for a time.
  34. Turn the mirror toward the wall until nobody else is dead.
  35. Pay glamorous money for a statue of your favorite goddess.
  36. If the victim is too big, sacrifice the puppy instead.
  37. Remove your face in a dream.
  38. Draw a five-pointed star on a rock, stumble upon it, meditate for 3 days, place your hand in a cage, and cut it.
  39. Cast a demon into a berry and eat it.
  40. When crossing the pond, put three wooden spoons in the water to feed the fish.
  41. Lead your heart to a humble life.
  42. Throw Voodoo Dolls at the Fool.
  43. You can follow him, but you can’t meet him.
  44. Handsome people will be amazed.
  45. Punish enemies by scattering pollen from mushrooms.
  46. Use a Pipe to Create Ritual Puppets that offer Insights into the Future.
  47. Befriend the Good Meat and Bread Fairy.
  48. Draw a five-pointed star on a rock, stumble upon it, meditate for 3 days, place your hand in a cage, and cut it.
  49. Wear 796 gold beads (or, if a virgin, 397 green glass beads) around the neck.
  50. Keep the stove lit at all times.
  51. Write a person’s name on the faceplate.
  52. Forget what you did with the sapphires.
 
-- Basil Cartryte

Image info: Antic Alchemy, copyright 2018 by Carl Bettis, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.